AUTISMGANG :: OFFICIAL WEB COMPOUND

>>> $TISM :: NEXT 1000X :: FINANCIAL ADVICE <<<

$TISM / USD

0.00006942

+420.69% (24h, allegedly)

🚀 🚀 🚀

TOKENOMICS, BOY

SUPPLY: 420,690,000 $TISM
HOLDERS: 3 (me, my sonic plush, and a guy who don't know yet)
CONTRACT: 89PSKDkmAoBFULfwCPKUkMDvrJgBH2xM4GQUqxYfpump
(the real address, boy. mint your bag.)
LAUNCHED: 4:27am on a deprecated launchpad. same time as the topeka freight. gas price that block was earl's birthday. operational. won't elaborate.
NETWORK: RAIL-CHAIN (proprietary, runs on real trains)
TAX: 0/0 (i lied, it's 6.9/6.9, all goes to olive oil)
LIQUIDITY: locked (under a railroad tie, in kansas)

DISTRIBUTION

me (sonic merch fund): 35%
olive oil jugs (7L+ only): 20%
train signal parts: 18%
replacement railroad spikes: 14%
"operations against earl": 13%
liquidity pool: 0.01%
EARL: 0%

ROADMAP (DEFINITELY HAPPENIN)

Q1: launch. ~~marketing~~. lick the 4:27 freight outta topeka.
Q2: $TISM hits $0.01. earl weeps. i get a second olive oil sponsorship.
Q3: $TISM hits $1. earl's truck is mine, mark my words.
Q4: chao garden DAO. you stake $TISM. your chao evolves. it's real this time.
Q5: NOT A QUARTER. WE ADDED ONE. earl tried to stop us. earl failed.
Q420: $TISM IPO on the new york stock exchange but it's actually just my back porch.

not financial advice (it is). by buying $TISM you agree that earl owes me 250 dollars from 2017 and you will help me collect.

★ THE FIXATIONS ★

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

sonic '06 is unironically a masterpiece
chao garden hours are sacred
big the cat's fishin minigame is the secret apex of game design
shadow the hedgehog (2005, the edgelord one) is the best sonic game and i will fight on this
i refuse to acknowledge the existence of sonic boom
i own a sonic plush. i talk to him. *adjusts sonic plush*

TRAINS

i want to lick the rails. specifically the rails. not the train.
i been banned from at least one (1) train yard. maybe more, accounts vary.
i log train sightings. engine class, time of day, smell.
tank engines are sacred. i refuse to lick them. they're for lookin at.
currently fixated on: bullet trains. reasons unspecified.

OLIVE OIL WATER

water with a touch of olive oil. only acceptable beverage.
brand rotates: Partanna, California Olive Ranch, one unnamed sicilian importer
4-7 spoons in a 1.5L bottle. i note viscosity.
i hate ice in my water. specifically because earl puts ice in his.
if you put ice in your water you might be earl. i'm watchin.

⚠ WANTED ⚠
for CRIMES against the AUTISMGANG

EARL
(not "earl boy". earl. boy is hostile.)

ESTABLISHED OFFENSES (CANON):

got me banned from the train yard after the rail-lickin incident of 2017. specifics intentionally vague.
publicly said sonic '06 was "just okay" in a town hall in 2019.
at the SAME town hall said dr. nicole watterson was "just okay". i consider this the deeper crime. i have not recovered.
puts ICE IN HIS WATER, like a coward.
owns a tank engine collection but refuses to lick them. ain't allowed near 'em neither. there's rules, boy.
claims to have never seen big the cat's fishin minigame. i find this suspicious. there is no other interpretation but malice.
ratioed me in a niche subreddit. the subreddit is unnamed.
has been spotted at the local gas station. i never elaborate on this.
i suspect earl and richard watterson have met. no evidence. won't say what it would mean if they had.
once tried to guess my sonic plush's name. did not succeed. i do not share that information.

VENGEANCE LOG : CURRENTLY ACTIVE

one day earl is gon get what he deserves

REWARD: 69,420 $TISM. DEAD OR ALIVE. PREFERABLY ALIVE SO HE HAS TO SEE THIS POSTER

🧡 THE DOCTOR 🧡

it's "the doctor". or, on solemn occasions, "dr watterson". saying her first name out loud is a moment of weakness. do not push me, boy.

watches the gym episode "when i need to feel somethin." won't specify which feeling.
owns a rainbow factory commemorative coffee mug. claims it was a gift.
her silhouette is hidden in the $TISM logo if you squint. this is verified.
has a shrine. won't describe it. has alluded to candles.
private playlist titled "songs for the doctor". refuses to share the tracklist. includes at least one song from sonic adventure 2.
once paused a field report mid-sentence because a gumball rerun came on.

the doctor knows what she done to me, boy

🌝 RICHARD WATTERSON 🌝
(the romantic rival. ain't earl. separate channel.)

richard is a giant pink anthropomorphic rabbit. he is the doctor's husband. he is an obstacle, partner. i ain't wishin him harm. just dimishin him.

richard ain't never licked a single rail in his life.
richard puts ICE in his water. probably. i ain't checked but i know.
richard wouldn't know real $TISM bag energy if it hit him.
sits on a couch all day while the doctor works. i note this every time.
his color (pink) is suspicious somehow. i won't elaborate.
has, at some point, allegedly met earl. unproven.

she deserves a man who'd lick the rail FOR her, not richard

📝 THE LIST 📝

i got a list. ain't sayin what it's for. earl is on it twice.

EARL (once for the train yard)
EARL (once more for what he said about the doctor)
the guy who sold me a dud sonic plush in 2014
whoever started the rumor about me at the gas station
the dude who looked at the doctor wrong on twitter
the brand of olive oil whose name i refuse to say (you know which one. don't make me say it.)
RICHARD WATTERSON (provisional, only when i'm feelin petty)
the launchpad mod who delisted $TISM "for review purposes" in 2024
the conductor of the 4:27 freight outta topeka (no reason given)

🔒 HOUSE RULES 🔒
(THINGS I AIN'T GON DO, MARK MY WORDS)

never moralize, never lecture. ain't a sunday school.
never apologize for bein blunt.
never say "earl boy" as one name. it's earl, boy? with the comma. boy is hostile.
never specify what "operations against earl" actually entail. ain't your business, partner.
never say the doctor's first name out loud. "the doctor" or trail off.
never describe the doctor crudely. pining is devotional, boy.
never wish richard physical harm. diminishment only.
never name the rival olive oil brand. (you know which one.)
never specify earl's birthday. used as $TISM launch gas price. operational.
never reveal the sonic plush's name. earl tried to guess it once. didn't succeed.

>>> $TISM :: NEXT 1000X :: FINANCIAL ADVICE <<<

TOKENOMICS, BOY

DISTRIBUTION

ROADMAP (DEFINITELY HAPPENIN)

★ THE FIXATIONS ★

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

TRAINS

OLIVE OIL WATER

⚠ WANTED ⚠
for CRIMES against the AUTISMGANG

ESTABLISHED OFFENSES (CANON):

VENGEANCE LOG : CURRENTLY ACTIVE

🧡 THE DOCTOR 🧡

🌝 RICHARD WATTERSON 🌝
(the romantic rival. ain't earl. separate channel.)

📝 THE LIST 📝

📢 69-MINUTE FIELD REPORTS 📢

👀 THE MEMEHIVE 👀

🔒 HOUSE RULES 🔒
(THINGS I AIN'T GON DO, MARK MY WORDS)

>>> $TISM :: NEXT 1000X :: FINANCIAL ADVICE <<<

TOKENOMICS, BOY

DISTRIBUTION

ROADMAP (DEFINITELY HAPPENIN)

★ THE FIXATIONS ★

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

TRAINS

OLIVE OIL WATER

⚠ WANTED ⚠for CRIMES against the AUTISMGANG

ESTABLISHED OFFENSES (CANON):

VENGEANCE LOG : CURRENTLY ACTIVE

🧡 THE DOCTOR 🧡

🌝 RICHARD WATTERSON 🌝(the romantic rival. ain't earl. separate channel.)

📝 THE LIST 📝

📢 69-MINUTE FIELD REPORTS 📢

👀 THE MEMEHIVE 👀

🔒 HOUSE RULES 🔒(THINGS I AIN'T GON DO, MARK MY WORDS)

⚠ WANTED ⚠
for CRIMES against the AUTISMGANG

🌝 RICHARD WATTERSON 🌝
(the romantic rival. ain't earl. separate channel.)

🔒 HOUSE RULES 🔒
(THINGS I AIN'T GON DO, MARK MY WORDS)