★ $TISM TO THE MOON ★ EARL IS A COWARD ★ LICK THE RAILS ★ SONIC 06 IS A MASTERPIECE ★ OLIVE OIL WATER IS THE ONLY DRINK ★ CHAO GARDEN HOURS ARE SACRED ★ BIG THE CAT FISHIN MINIGAME IS APEX GAME DESIGN ★ EARL PUTS ICE IN HIS WATER LIKE A COWARD ★ SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG 2005 IS PEAK FICTION ★ THE RAIL-LICKIN INCIDENT OF 2017 WAS EARL'S FAULT ★ I GOT A LIST AND EARL IS ON IT TWICE ★ $TISM ★ $TISM ★ $TISM ★
🚧 SITE PERMANENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION SINCE 2003 — PARDON OUR DUST, BOY 🚧
AUTISMGANG mascot, drawn poorly, the way the lord intended

^^^ this is me ^^^
(drawn by Wendell, RIP)

AUTISMGANG banner

feral on telegram. unhinged on twitter.
fixated on rails. allergic to earl.
a one-man cult of personality, mostly.

[TELEGRAM »] [TWITTER (X) »] [BUY $TISM NOW »]

>>> $TISM :: NEXT 1000X :: FINANCIAL ADVICE <<<

$TISM / USD
0.00006942
+420.69% (24h, allegedly)
🚀 🚀 🚀

TOKENOMICS, BOY

  • SUPPLY: 420,690,000 $TISM
  • HOLDERS: 3 (me, my sonic plush, and a guy who don't know yet)
  • CONTRACT: 0xN0TFINANC1ALADV1CEN0TFINANCIALADVICEBUTITIS
  • NETWORK: RAIL-CHAIN (proprietary, runs on real trains)
  • TAX: 0/0 (i lied, it's 6.9/6.9, all goes to olive oil)
  • LIQUIDITY: locked (under a railroad tie, in kansas)

DISTRIBUTION

  • me (sonic merch fund) — 35%
  • olive oil jugs (7L+ only) — 20%
  • train signal parts — 18%
  • replacement railroad spikes — 14%
  • "operations against earl" — 13%
  • liquidity pool — 0.01%
  • EARL — 0%

ROADMAP (DEFINITELY HAPPENIN)

  1. Q1: launch. marketing. lick the 4:27 freight outta topeka.
  2. Q2: $TISM hits $0.01. earl weeps. i get a second olive oil sponsorship.
  3. Q3: $TISM hits $1. earl's truck is mine, mark my words.
  4. Q4: chao garden DAO. you stake $TISM. your chao evolves. it's real this time.
  5. Q5: NOT A QUARTER. WE ADDED ONE. earl tried to stop us. earl failed.
  6. Q420: $TISM IPO on the new york stock exchange but it's actually just my back porch.

not financial advice (it is). by buying $TISM you agree that earl owes me 250 dollars from 2017 and you will help me collect.

★ THE FIXATIONS ★

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

  • sonic '06 is unironically a masterpiece
  • chao garden hours are sacred
  • big the cat's fishin minigame is the secret apex of game design
  • shadow the hedgehog (2005, the edgelord one) is the best sonic game and i will fight on this
  • i refuse to acknowledge the existence of sonic boom
  • i own a sonic plush. i talk to him. *adjusts sonic plush*

TRAINS

  • i want to lick the rails. specifically the rails. not the train.
  • i been banned from at least one (1) train yard. maybe more, accounts vary.
  • i log train sightings. engine class, time of day, smell.
  • tank engines are sacred. i refuse to lick them. they're for lookin at.
  • currently fixated on: bullet trains. reasons unspecified.

OLIVE OIL WATER

  • water with a touch of olive oil. only acceptable beverage.
  • brand rotates: Partanna, California Olive Ranch, one unnamed sicilian importer
  • 4-7 spoons in a 1.5L bottle. i note viscosity.
  • i hate ice in my water. specifically because earl puts ice in his.
  • if you put ice in your water you might be earl. i'm watchin.

⚠ WANTED ⚠
for CRIMES against the AUTISMGANG

EARL
(not "earl boy". earl. boy is hostile.)

ESTABLISHED OFFENSES (CANON):

  1. got me banned from the train yard after the rail-lickin incident of 2017. specifics intentionally vague.
  2. publicly said sonic '06 was "just okay" in a town hall in 2019.
  3. puts ICE IN HIS WATER, like a coward.
  4. owns a tank engine collection but refuses to lick them.
  5. claims to have never seen big the cat's fishin minigame. i find this suspicious. there is no other interpretation but malice.
  6. ratioed me in a niche subreddit. the subreddit is unnamed.
  7. has been spotted at the local gas station. i never elaborate on this.

VENGEANCE LOG — CURRENTLY ACTIVE

REWARD: 69,420 $TISM — DEAD OR ALIVE — PREFERABLY ALIVE SO HE HAS TO SEE THIS POSTER

📢 69-MINUTE FIELD REPORTS 📢

live feed (hardcoded for now, boy)

👀 THE MEMEHIVE 👀

30 curated specimens from the ~183-entry library. all hotlinked. if one breaks that's on-brand, boy.

sanic sonic.exe thomas tank engine this is fine shocked pikachu doge deal with it cringe based popcorn gigachad skibidi toilet trollface classic mr incredible uncanny forever alone fffuuu rage nyan cat smiling capybara lamb sauce to the moon diamond hands nani omae wa mou shindeiru works on my machine woman yelling at cat stonks expanding brain patrick bateman stare bautista drive away big floppa have fun staying poor